


Portmanteau

by Armae



Category: Persona 5
Genre: 2/2 Fic, Aftercare, Awkward Romance, Barebacking, Bathing/Washing, Crying, February 2 (Persona 5), First Time, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Missing Scene, Persona 5 Spoilers, Pining, Praise Kink, Ren Is 18, Sex Toys, Sharing a Fleshlight, Slow Burn, Top Akechi Goro, Touch-Starved, fleshlight, for a oneshot, pent up, service top goro akechi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:00:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26374606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Armae/pseuds/Armae
Summary: On the night of 2/2, Ren finds himself following Akechi home.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Murakami Kayo/Ohya Ichiko
Comments: 26
Kudos: 283
Collections: 21 plus akeshuake server events





	Portmanteau

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is formatted to be dyslexia-friendly. If you find it difficult to read, try swapping from your PC to your phone, or vice versa.

**Portmanteau**

**2/2**

**THURSDAY**

**_Evening_ **

“C’mon, Lala-chan! It’s my birthday!” Ren says.

“Even if that were true, I know it isn’t the big two-oh. No alcohol, kid.”

“Are you sure?” Ren lays the charm on thick, ducking his head while maintaining eye contact across the bar.

The proprietor of Crossroads arches a perfectly styled eyebrow.

_Blocked–the target is immune._

“Eh, worth a shot,” he says, dropping the act.

She maintains eye contact with him through thick false eyelashes, letting the silence hang between them.

It’s a technique he uses himself to get people to fill the silence and open up to him. Lala-chan operates the same way; it’s what she does for a living.

He doesn’t drop his gaze.

It’s like a standoff between two cats of equal strength as they stare each other down.

He knows this game too well to give in.

“Could I have an iced tea instead, boss?” he asks.

She sighs but lets him deflect for now. “It’s a bit cold for that, isn’t it? I could whip you up a hot chocolate?” she says.

Ren lets the corners of his lips lift the minimum amount and nods.

“Coming right up, honey,” she says.

A few minutes later, she returns with his drink, topped high with whipped cream and chocolate curls.

“Thanks, it looks great,” he says, taking a cautious sip to avoid coating his nose in cream.

Lala-chan strokes her chin, eyes still on him.

He feels like he is being pried open like a stubborn oyster. Is he this unnerving with others?

He gets out his wallet, only for her to shoo him away with her hand.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Your money’s no good here.”

Ren knows better than to argue. “In that case, let me give you a hand after I finish this.”

She lets out a guffaw. “You know Thursdays are dead as a doornail,” she says, waving a hand around the empty bar.

He sighs. “I’ll finish this up and be on my way, then.”

_There goes that eyebrow again._

All he can do is smother his pout with the lip of the cup.

He suppresses a sigh of relief when the door to the bar is flung open. A familiar face lights up when she sees him.

“Hey, kid! And Lala-chan, long time no see!”

“Ohya! I guess it’s been a while, huh?” he replies.

Lala-chan’s lips curve into a smirk. “It’s been so long I thought you’d found another bar. You’ve been cheating on me, honey?”

Ohya bites her lip in mirth. “I’ve been kinda busy.” She sticks her head back out the door. “Babe! Put your camera away and get in here!”

“Coming!”

Ohya pulls another woman inside by the hand. “I’ve never introduced you guys to Kayo!”

Lala-chan and Ren suck in a shared breath of shock.

Kayo is a petite woman, with long, wavy brown hair that spills over her shoulders. “Hi! Ichiko has told me so much about you both!” she says, her dimples showing from the width of her smile.

Ren looks at Lala-chan just in time to see her composure slip for a microsecond before she rearranges her features into a welcoming smile. “Only good things, I hope!” she purrs, waving her long sleeve extravagantly.

Ohya wraps an arm around Kayo’s waist and winks at them. “The very best, and you know it! Two glasses of your finest red, please!”

Ren blinks in surprise. _Not the usual ~~barrel~~ / ~~bucket~~ / glass of whiskey, huh?_

“Coming right up!” Lala-chan says, giving Ren a look that says, ‘just go with it for now’.

He gives a discrete nod of acknowledgment before twisting in his stool to face the women now seated to his right. “So, what’s new with you two?” he says.

As they make small talk, he’s careful not to say or mention anything that would make Ohya doubt her current reality. For the sake of one night, it feels too cruel to do so.

This is the worst, seeing these bonds whole, knowing they will break once more.

He’ll be no different come tomorrow.

In his chest, warmth is still fizzing like pop candy from Hereward’s awakening. The vicarious afterglow, proof of their bond.

He smiles and nods politely as the women chat, trying to ignore the flare of guilt in his gut when Kayo presses a tender kiss to Ohya’s temple. He chuckles indulgently when Kayo licks her thumb before rubbing the lipstick mark away.

He’s flooded with an image of himself, tucking a lock of caramel hair behind an ear so he can kiss the bare skin beneath. Being pushed away with an eye-roll and a gloved hand with no actual force behind it.

Ren represses a scowl as something else churns inside him.

Something unfamiliar and heavy.

_~~It’s not fair.~~ _ _/ ~~I want-~~ /… Now’s not the time to be selfish._

Eventually, the women finish their wine. “We should get going,” Ohya says, rising from her seat and offering a hand to Kayo, who takes it with an impish grin. “Thanks for the drink! I’m glad I got to introduce you guys!”

“Me too,” Ren says. “It’s been a pleasure to meet you, Kayo.”

Kayo chuckles. “Likewise! Let’s do this again sometime.”

He keeps the smile frozen on his face and ~~nods uselessly~~ / ~~like a damn bobblehead~~ / because that’s all he can do.

“You take care, now,” Lala-chan says as they leave, taking the bar’s warmth with them.

Ren lets go of a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding and looks down at the congealed remains of his hot chocolate.

“What the _fuck_ just happened?”  
He whips his head up to look at Lala-chan. He’s never once heard her swear.

“I’m not going crazy, right? Kayo- the psychotic breakdowns, she was…” Her face crumples.

“She was in a mental hospital, yeah,” Ren says.

“You remember too? Is it related to…” Lala-chan gives him an inscrutable look, “-the Phantom Thieves?”

Ren shrugs. “I couldn’t say.”

“Oh, don’t give me that,” she says, lips pressed into a thin line.

He raises his eyebrows at her tone. “What?”

Her eyes narrow. “I’m not just a pretty face, you know. You and Ohya weren’t exactly discreet, either. I know you’re one of them.”

_~~I don’t give a shit right now.~~ _ _/ ~~Blame Ryuji.~~ / Does half of Tokyo know? _

“What makes you say that?” he says evenly.

She tuts. “Are you ever direct, kid?”

Ren swallows. “All I can say is that… everything should go back to normal tomorrow.”

Lala-chan nods. “I think that’s for the best. I’ve seen so many customers have good fortune, but it doesn’t seem… genuine, you know?”

Ren shakes his head. “It isn’t real.”

“Ah.”

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, Kayo will be back in the hospital, and Ohya’s liver will be back to paying the bill for her broken heart.

And Akechi will be…

“So _that’s_ why you wanted the hard stuff,” Lala-chan says, her face softening in sympathy.

His jaw clenches. Something must have slipped through his mask.

“Listen, I won’t force you to spill your guts. I just,” she examines one of her painted nails. “I just see a lot of myself in you. You tell people what they want to hear to feel good, but you neglect your own feelings.”

Ren’s mouth falls open to deny it. Then shuts. Then opens, like a gasping fish. He looks down and studies the scuffs in the countertop.

“Many people will lose the ones they love again,” he says eventually. He can’t raise his gaze.

A large, warm hand gently taps his own. “I’m sorry, honey.”

His grief claws its way back up to his throat, claggy, curdling the sweet hot chocolate lingering on his tongue.

“Ren, look at me.”

Reluctantly, he does. Her gaze is sad but warm. “You shouldn’t be here. You should spend this time with your loved ones. Let them know how much they matter to you while you can.”

He takes a shaky breath. “What if… that’s not what they want?”

She looks thoughtful. “Then shouldn’t you at least clear the air? That way, you can move forward with no regrets?”

_Sounds like the same ~~bullshit~~ / ~~corny line~~ / platitude I’d say to anyone else. _

He sighs and stands up from his stool. “Thank you, Lala-chan. I have to go.”

She nods and takes away his cold cup. “Come back anytime, honey. And good luck.”

His parting smile is painted on. She knows it too, but he can’t muster anything more. He hopes she understands.

Somehow, he thinks she does.

The February night air is like a cold slap to his cheeks when he leaves Crossroads. He squints as his eyes acclimate to the glaring rainbow of neon. Maybe there’s something else he can do to kill time until he’s tired enough to slip into oblivion the second his head hits the pillow. _  
Anything beats lying in bed, ~~hating myself~~ / ~~trying not to cry~~ / staring at the ceiling. _

The streets are barren – it’s too cold for the street barkers. There is a rugged up and loved up couple, strolling hand in hand. A man hurries past, wearing a coat just like Akechi’s.

Ren does a double-take.

It _is_ Akechi, clutching a nondescript shopping bag in one hand and looking rushed.

“Akechi?”

He’s too far away to hear him. Ren’s heart thuds a little faster.

_What the hell is Akechi doing in Shinjuku?_

He fumbles for his phone in his pocket.

As it rings, and rings, and rings, he chews his lip harder.

_~~Don’t go!~~ _ _/ ~~Please, look at me.~~ / Pick up already._

Akechi doesn’t pick up his phone. He’s about to disappear around a corner.

Ren hangs up before the voicemail message beeps. His feet carry him inexorably in the same direction as Akechi.

_It’s okay, I’ll catch him up and grab his attention.  
_

* * *

He does not.

Sheepish, he finds himself on the same crowded train to Kichijoji, half a train car away from where Akechi stands.

As the train takes off, Ren guiltily indulges the chance to drink in the sight of him between the mass of elbows and shoulders.

Akechi’s face is flushed as he tucks a stray lock of hair behind one ear, a far-off look in his eyes. One gloved hand grips the overhead train handle. The other holds his bag, fingertips rubbing absently against one another.

Ren feels winded.

When has he ever seen Akechi so…?

_~~Soft~~_ _/ ~~vulnerable~~ / _off his guard?

Crammed in the same space with dozens of strangers, it feels oddly intimate to see Akechi’s face so bare. Warmth and guilt churn in Ren’s gut.

He is torn between hoping Akechi will see him and hoping the exact opposite.

Morgana will worry if he’s out too late, especially with high stakes tomorrow afternoon when they infiltrate Maruki’s palace for the last time. He should just get off at the next stop and make his way back to Leblanc.

He blames Lala-chan for getting into his head.

_Just one more stop…_  
Four stops later, he still can’t tear his eyes away from Akechi.

He’ll definitely get off at Ogikubo. He can get a bowl of ramen to ~~drown himself in~~ / ~~drown his sorrows in~~ / warm himself up.

Ogikubo flies past.

Inevitably, they disembark at Kichijoji station. Ren hangs back a little.

Now is the time for him to go up the stairs to the other platform and take the train in the opposite direction.

Any second now.

As he walks out of the station, his vision grows a little fuzzy.

_No, it’s snowing._

His hands tighten into fists in his pockets as he watches Akechi get farther away, his figure fading under an increasing haze of white.

He concentrates, using his third eye so he won’t lose him in the flurry. Ren can’t _~~lose him~~_ / _~~leave him be~~ /_ let it end like this.

Like he is magnetized, his feet lift, one after the other, and he continues to follow Akechi through the bitter night.

* * *

If Akechi is only acting unaware being followed, he’s doing a good job of it.

Ren slinks into shadow when they approach a dated block of apartments. Akechi doesn’t even turn to see if anyone is following, continuing his way up the stairs taking three at a time.

A part of himself wonders if this is some sort of test or game.

_He must know he’s being followed, right?_

After a minute or two, Ren ascends the stairs himself. He peers from around the corner just as Akechi unlocks and enters his top floor apartment, shutting the door behind him.

Ren runs a hand through his curls, now wet with snow. His umbrella lies unopened in his bag. The cold against his hand gives him a moment of clarity.

_What am I doing?_

It’s nearly eleven o’clock at night in the freezing cold, and he has stalked his _~~enemy?~~ / ~~frenemy?~~ /_ friend to his home.

Unless this really _is_ some sort of game, Akechi is going to be rightfully pissed.

If it’s anything like the other times' Ren has tried to spend time with him, he’ll just be scolded for being sentimental.

Ren sighs. He thought they would have more time. If he had known…

Well, he knows now. The familiar storm of grief looms after a month of false sunshine.

After tomorrow, it will be back to the way it was. When he had to keep himself busy and exhausted to try to dull the _~~longing~~ / ~~love~~ / _pain.

Back to having sleep as his only respite from his grief. Even then, he’ll dream. He’ll have nightmares.

He’ll have more dreams, warmer ones of Akechi’s lips curled into a knowing smirk while he-

Ren’s breath frosts in front of him and he pulls his scarf away from his mouth, so his glasses won’t fog up.

With no other outlet, _those_ dreams will inevitably soak the front of his boxers again.

He feels a flush rise to his cheeks.

Back to guilt-ridden wishes that Morgana wasn’t asleep on his chest so he could cave in to his desires.

Back to stealing moments in the Leblanc bathroom, but only for long enough to press Akechi’s glove to his lips, to inhale the leather. To wish he could hold it, tear-soaked, as he fell asleep.

He slips his hand into his coat pocket and squeezes the glove.

_‘No regrets’, huh?_

He recalls the conversation in the engine room and Akechi’s desperation to feel wanted.

_“When will it be my turn?!”_ he had cried.

Ren’s chest tightens.

All they can do is win tomorrow. If he can share his feelings with Akechi, make him feel _wanted-needed_ - _loved_ on his last night, then that’s all he can do.

His resolve strengthens and so he pulls out his phone, thinking of what to say. Fingers red and numb with cold, he jots a few lines to clarify his thoughts before dialling Akechi’s number once more.

Straight to voicemail again. Not that Ren’s surprised. “Hi,” he says, “I’m just checking you aren’t ignoring me. Can… can we talk? I’m outside your apartment.”

He hangs up and puts his phone back in his pocket. To steady himself, he takes a deep breath but the cold knocks it back out of his lungs in a cough. He walks over to stand in front of Akechi’s apartment door, noticing a curiously open window.

He knocks gently. “Akechi?”

The reply is a muffled groan. “Ren…”

His stomach drops. Something must be wrong. Is that why Akechi hadn’t noticed he was being followed home?

Ren shakes himself from his thoughts and tries the door handle.

Locked.

“Akechi?” He waits a minute for the sound of approaching footsteps, but they never come.

“Mm… need you.”

Now that just sounded-

_Something’s definitely off.  
_  
Ren looks around and spies the open window again. It is an old crank style, but he should be able to slip his hand in and unwind it the rest of the way.

Wrapping his hand around the handle, he rapidly unwinds it until it is wide enough for him to squeeze through the gap.

He lands silently in the bathtub of the small bathroom, heart thudding. He pulls the sliding door open to find it adjoining the bedroom.

“Akechi? Are you alrigh-“

His vision is flooded with a tumble of cinnamon hair, flashes of bare skin, and a blanket.

“R-ren?!”

_Oh._

Ren’s throat goes completely dry at the sight before him.

Akechi is sitting on the floor, trembling, with a blanket hastily thrown across his naked lap. His cheeks are flushed, the deep pink creeping down his neck and across his shoulders. Maroon eyes widen in horror at him. “T-the, _fuck_ are you doing here?!” Akechi’s voice is husky and raw.

Ren licks his lips, feeling heat rush up from his neck to his ears.

In situations like these, he should channel Joker.

The Gentleman Thief has stolen away in the night. Only Ren Amamiya remains, stranded with a slowly growing hard-on.

He’s not sure what embarrasses him more: the fact that he was playing cat and mouse on his own as he followed Akechi or _this._

His brain helpfully points out that _ohmygod he’s left his socks on that is ~~adorable~~ / ~~sexy~~ / uh-oh._

The room is silent. Then a low buzzing hums and Akechi gasps.

_Ah_.

Ren shuffles his feet surreptitiously, pleading for the blood to return back to his head.

He looks at the floor and sees the discarded shopping bag, boxes and assorted packaging akimbo, a leaking bottle of lubricant and-

-a remote, barely a centimeter from his shoe. Clearing his throat, he kicks the remote gently towards Akechi.

“Aah!”

His head whips up in time to see Akechi let out a full-body shudder. He must’ve pressed a button with his shoe. Their gazes lock.

Ren twitches in his pants. “S-sorry!” he says.

A frustrated ‘tsk’ leaves Akechi’s lips through his teeth as he grabs the remote. The noise ceases and he exhales slowly.

“Since you’re still here,” Akechi says lowly. “Perhaps it needs to be said. Get out.”

_~~Apologize and politely take my leave~~ _ _/ ~~fling myself off the fire escape in mortification~~ / stand here like a simp and fiddle with my hair because my brain cell is being starved of its blood supply._

“I’m here to... I want to say that- I mean, I tried calling you, but-“

_Charm? Guts? Anytime now!_

Akechi grits his teeth. “And you couldn’t take the hint, could you? If a call goes straight to voicemail, the person is likely unavailable?”

“I thought you needed help,” Ren mumbles.

Akechi gives him an incredulous look. “Well, you were wrong. I don’t.”

That comment shakes the haze of lust just enough for Ren.

_No regrets._

With his heart pounding in his ears, he drops to his knees, eye level with Akechi, who tightens his grip on the blanket.

“Outside, I heard you call for me,” Ren whispers.

Akechi’s blush deepens to crimson. “Clearly you need your hearing checked.”

Ren shakes his head. “I don’t think so,” he whispers. He shuffles forward a little, narrowing the distance between them.

Akechi’s eyes widen as Ren moves his hand to cover Akechi’s own-

“ _Fuck_ Joker, you are freezing!” He jerks away from him, to Ren’s dismay. “Don’t move.” Akechi stands up, wrapping his blanket around his waist.

A red tube that looks like a flashlight rolls across the floor. Ren’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead.

_~~Both? Nice. Jealous.~~_ “Uh-“

Akechi grabs the toy and holds a hand up. “Not. A word.”

Ren nods mutely. While Akechi opens and closes various cupboards, Ren breathes warm air onto his freezing hands. He should have worn gloves. And used his umbrella.

Eventually, Akechi stomps back into the room holding another blanket. He hands it to Ren, looking him up and down. “You moron, you’re soaked,” he groans. He leans into the bathroom to retrieve a clean towel and lobs it at Ren’s face. “What the hell were you thinking, walking around in this weather? Do you _want_ to fail tomorrow?” His face pales. “That’s why you’re here. You’ve folded already.”

Ren frowns, looking up at Akechi as he towels his hair. “No. We’ll face Maruki tomorrow, as I told you.”

Akechi’s expression doesn’t change.

“I _promise_ ,” Ren says softly, drawing the blanket closer around himself. “We’ll defeat him and set things right.” He takes off his glasses to wipe the melted snow from them. “You know I’ll keep my word.”

He can’t parse the expression on Akechi’s face as he kneels back down and takes the glasses from his hands.  
“I’m going to do something I should have done a long time ago,” Akechi whispers. Ren feels his heart thud.

“O-oh?”

Akechi looks down at the frames in his hands, then back up at Ren with a smirk.

Ren licks his lips.

Akechi snaps the glasses cleanly in half.

“HEY!” Ren splutters.

“I always hated your fucking glasses,” Akechi says, throwing them aside.

“What’d they ever do to you?” Ren says with more indignation than he means.

“You don’t even _need_ them.”

Ren lifts a finger to Akechi’s cheek and smears away some foundation. “And you don’t need _this_ ,” he says, holding up his finger.

Their gazes connect under unruly curls and caramel bangs. Ren shivers at the hungry look in Akechi’s eyes.

Ren straightens.

_Well, am I a man or a mouse? Previous rattling experiences aside…_

“All this,” he gestures at the sex paraphernalia around them. “-was a waste of money. You could have had me for free, if you’d asked.”

The heat in Akechi’s face fades a little. “How philanthropic of you,” he says snidely. “Is this something you’ve done before, hm? Have you made such a _generous_ offer to all of your other friends?”

“What? No!” Ren says, heart sinking.

“You give the rest of yourself away so easily, it’s not a huge jump to assume that-“

“No. Never.”

“So, it’s pity, then,” Akechi says, a scowl deepening on his face.  
“Akechi...”

“If you haven’t changed your mind about Maruki, I can’t imagine any other motive for your being here.”

Ren pinches the bridge of his nose. Akechi’s going to dismiss anything emotionally charged from him at this point.

“Call it an impromptu extension of our deal,” he says. A whisper of Joker manifests in his smile, and he makes a show of looking at Goro like he’s a five-course banquet. “Don’t you think our interests are mutual?”  
  
Akechi takes a ragged breath. “I find that rather difficult to believe.”

With a low growl, Ren grabs Akechi’s hand and places it over the tent in his pants.

Akechi’s eyes widen and the flush returns to his cheeks.

Using all his self-control not to buck a little into the warm hand on him, he drops Akechi’s hand but holds his stare. “I’ll still leave, if you want me to,” he says.

“No,” Akechi’s Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “I… well, if you need an outlet, I suppose I can assist.”

Ren has to rein in the triumphant grin before it runs rampant. “Now who’s being generous?”

“I suppose you’ll want to stay the night as well,” Akechi mutters.

“Well if you can curb your enthusiasm at the idea,” Ren says snarkily.

“Stay, idiot.”

The reins snap and Ren can feel his smile stretching into a beam so wide his cheeks hurt.

“I’ll just send a quick text,” Ren says, euphoria making his hands tremble as he rummages in his pocket for his phone. He catches sight of Akechi’s soft, awed expression for an instant before it the mask comes back down like a shutter door.

**You: Futaba, you awake?**

**Futaba: Duh.**

**You: Can you go to Leblanc  
and let Morgana know  
I won’t be home?**

**Futaba: You okay? Are you safe??**

**You: Yeah just spending some time with someone.**

**Futaba: Mwehehe, ic ic. Sexy times in Shinjuku, huh? Host club?** **┬┴┬┴┤** **(** **͡** **°** **͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴** **  
You: Please stop tracking my phone.  
****Futaba:** **ᕕ** **(** **ᐛ** **)** **ᕗ**

Ren blushes and looks at Akechi, who’s still sitting in front of him, looking dazed. “I am sorry, by the way. I didn’t mean to invade your privacy.”

Akechi looks like he wants to say something cutting but thinks better of it.

Ren licks his lips. “So uh, what… do you want to do?”

“What do _you_ want to do?” Akechi counters.

“Whatever you want.”

“Well, this is a productive conversation, isn’t it? If what you say is true, surely you’ve thought about this before?” Akechi says.

Ren clears his throat. “Whatever you’re willing to give,” he finishes in a whisper.

Akechi exhales shakily. “You’d better tell me if you don’t like anything, then. Got it?”

He nods for the first time tonight with eagerness. “Same with you.

“I think,” Akechi says, pulling at Ren’s scarf. “You really need to get out of these damp clothes.”

Ren eagerly complies, fingers fumbling with the buttons of his coat.

“Oh, for goodness sake,” Akechi bats his hands away and takes over. “We’ll be here all night at this rate.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

Akechi gives him a dry look. “I don’t want to spend all night just undressing you.”

“Mm,” Ren shucks his arms out from his coat. “Tell me more about how much you want me.”

“Fuck off.”

Ren throws his head back and laughs, and a shy smile creeps over Akechi’s features.

“I can’t believe you broke my glasses,” Ren says, still chuckling.  
  
“Did I surprise you?” Now Ren’s coat and long-sleeved shirt are on the floor.

“Uh, yeah! It was pretty hot, if I’m being honest.”

Akechi straightens. “Good.” He pulls the bottom of Ren’s undershirt up and over his head, wide eyes raking over him like he’s a specimen on a glass slide.

Ren stands up and shakily undoes his belt.

“Let me,” Akechi says, unzipping his fly and pulling the jeans to the floor.

With two steps, Ren is out of them and only his boxer briefs separate them. He’s softened a little from the earlier uncertainty and nerves, but the way Akechi looks at him is quickly changing that.

Without wasting time, Akechi hooks both index fingers under the waistband and pulls the briefs away.

Ren looks up at the ceiling, feeling the most exposed he’s ever felt.

Akechi gives a bark of laughter. “You think you’re embarrassed, how do you think it was for _me_?”

“You had a blanket before I saw that much,” Ren grumbles.

“Hm, we’ve evened the playing field at least.”

Ren looks back down to see the blanket gone, and Akechi pulling his own socks off.

Ren pouts. “Aw, the socks were sexy.”  
  
“Too bad. Take yours off too.”

“Fine,” Ren sits down on the edge of the bed and takes his socks off, still too shy to look at Akechi’s nakedness. “Can I ask you something?”

“If you must.”

“How did the toys feel?” Ren asks, embarrassed that his voice is even deeper than usual.

“W-which one?”

“Either. Both?”

Akechi gives him a sly look. “Why not try them for yourself? Give me a moment.”

Ren’s cock gives an interested twitch. “O-okay.” He looks around the room, but there’s not much to see. ‘Spartan’ would be a generous description. He hears water run in the bathroom.

Eventually, Akechi returns with both toys in his hands, eyes averted. “I just cleaned them.”

“Oh I didn’t think you’d finished-“  
  
“I hadn’t, thanks to a certain someone. But hygiene’s important. Plus, the instructions for this one,” Akechi holds up the fleshlight, “are to fill it with warm water first.” He places them next to Ren by the bed, followed by the lube.

Ren quashes the urge to giggle at the image of Akechi sitting earnestly reading the fleshlight instructions.

“Which did you prefer?” Ren asks.

“This one,” Akechi answers by picking up the fleshlight. He pours some lube into his hand and rubs them together to warm it.  
  
Ren smirks. “So, red huh? Reminded you of anything in partic- Woah!!” He nearly rockets off the bed in surprise when Akechi’s hand goes straight onto his cock and gives it a stroke.

_He’s not messing around._ _A kiss would be nice, but would it throw him off?_

“Too cold?”

“No… it’s good.”

Akechi pours some more into the toy and then hovers over Ren. “Ready?”

“Y-yeah.”

Akechi lowers the toy onto him, the tip of Ren slipping into the rim.

“Mm,” Ren murmurs. “It feels strange.”

Akechi nods. “I thought so too.” He slips it down further and Ren shudders. Finally, he bottoms out.

“Alright?”

Ren nods. He’d rather have Akechi’s hand-mouth-anything but he is happy to take what he can get. The thought of being sheathed where Akechi put himself earlier is hotter than the act itself at this point.

“How’s this?” Akechi starts to pump the toy up and down.

“It’s okay,” Ren murmurs, his ears burning from the slick noises as the pace quickens. He finally chances a look down at Akechi and throbs when he sees precum beading at the tip of him.

“W-wanna share?”

Akechi blinks. “What do you mean, take it in turns?”

“No, like… it’d be tighter if you were in here too,” Ren says, delighted when Akechi makes a choked sound.

“I- I doubt we’ll both fit.”  
  
“It’s super stretchy. Try it with me?”

“Very well.”

Akechi straddles Ren’s waist and just the touch of his skin on him makes Ren let out a soft moan.

_Why does he look so surprised?_

Does he still not realize he’s not here for release, it’s Akechi himself that he wants?

The lube bottle reappears and Akechi strokes over himself with it.

_That’s hot._

Akechi holds the toy with one shaking hand while the other guides the tip into the entrance.

They both hiss at the contact.

“See, it’s stretching, keep going. It feels so much better,” Ren says with a gasp.

Akechi pushes more of himself inside it, biting his bottom lip a little. “I-it’s so tight,” he pants.

“Yeah, it’s good.”

Eventually, they are both fully inside it, pressed tight against one another, the lube heating further from their body heat.

Akechi thrusts involuntarily a little and Ren lets out a low whine.

“S-sorry,” Akechi says.

“No, it’s good, it’s good. Please, do it,” Ren says, panting.

Akechi grips the sides of the toy and slowly pulls it up, until they are half out of it, then thrusts it back down.

“F-fuck, that’s good,” Ren says.

“Didn’t know you had such a mouth.”  
  
“Only for you.”

“I don’t know whether to be f-flattered or insulted,” Akechi stutters, jerking the toy faster on them.

“I feel that way around you a lot.”

“Heh…”

Ren takes his hands from where they’ve been clenching the sheets to cup Akechi’s ass, squeezing in time with Akechi’s thrusts.

“I-if you do that, I won’t last long,” Akechi moans.

“I’m getting close too. Faster, please, more!”

“G-god!”

The sounds are obscene, and as Ren gets closer to climax, he can’t help but thrust up against the weight of Akechi over him.

“You feel so good,” Ren pants. “You’re doing so well.”

Akechi gives a body-wracking shudder and then Ren feels liquid heat filling the spaces between them inside the toy.

He watches Akechi’s face slacken as he feels the pulse of him spurting wave after wave.

It’s the most arousing thing he’s ever seen in his life and it pushes him over the edge.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Ren moans and he feels his eyes roll back in his head from the force of it. It ripples down his spine all the way down to his toes. His hips jerk and snap as it goes on.

He opens his eyes blearily to see Akechi staring down at him, trembling.

“That… was amazing,” Ren says.

Akechi’s lips curve upwards. “It was the best-reviewed toy, that’s why I bought it.”

Ren fights the urge to roll his eyes.

_Are you being deliberately obtuse?_

Akechi slowly pulls the toy off them and they shudder from oversensitivity. He leans carefully to where the discarded towel lies on the floor. He wipes Ren down first, gently but thoroughly and it makes his heart swell.

“You don’t have to,” Ren murmurs.

“I don’t mind.”

_I wish you’d touch me more._

When most of the mess is cleaned up, Akechi gets up and makes his way to the bathroom on unsteady feet. “You should shower, so you don’t get a cold,” he says.

Ren follows him into the bathroom and Akechi looks up from where he’s testing the water from the detachable showerhead. “It should be ready in a minute. You can go first, if you wish. Would you like a bath as well?”

“That sounds great.”

Akechi turns the tap to the bath and catches sight of the still-open window. He gives Ren a pointed glances as he closes it.

“The water should be acceptable now. It takes a while to heat because it’s an old building.”

“Thank you. Hey,” Ren gently clasps Akechi’s wrist before he turns to leave. He receives a look so wary that it makes his heart sink.

“We could bathe together?” Ren says with a small smile.

“I suppose we have before, haven’t we?” Akechi says, his face remaining neutral.

_Even after this, he’s so distant…_

But, again, Ren will take what he can get. “Mhmm. I can wash your hair, if you like?”  
  
“Tch, if anyone needs help washing, it’s you.”  
  
Ren blinks. “What are you trying to tell me? That I stink or something?”

Akechi rolls his eyes. “I’d hardly tolerate your presence if that were the case. No, I’m referring to your method of washing.”

“I didn’t realize you were watching me that closely, Detective.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, I have exceptional peripheral vision.”

Ren breathes in through his nose. If that’s how he wants to play it… “Fine. Why don’t you show me the ‘correct’ way?”

“Hmph, I suppose if there’s any hope of you changing, you need to learn.” He pulls out the stool and motions for Ren to sit before kneeling behind him. “The problem is, you start with your feet when you wash. You should wash your feet _last_.”

Ren chuckles as Akechi lifts the shower nozzle to spray Ren’s hair down. “What difference does it make?”

“What diff- really, Ren. It’s just logic. You shampoo your hair first, then wash your face, then work your way down. Hold this for a moment.” He passes Ren the shower nozzle while he leans to grab a bottle of shampoo. Squirting some into his palm, he works up a lather before working it into Ren’s scalp with his fingertips.

Ren lets out a soft moan of pleasure and Akechi’s fingers still for a moment. “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”

“What? No, it’s really nice.”

“Oh. Good. Tilt your head back.”

Ren smothers a grin as he does so. He risks cracking one eye open to look up at Akechi, upside down.

Akechi’s face is scrunched in concentration. “Close your eyes, or you’ll get shampoo in them.”

Ren sticks his tongue out. “Be nice, it’s my birthday.”

“Yeah, sure.” Akechi gives a long-suffering sigh as he rinses the shampoo out of Ren’s hair.

A few minutes pass quietly as Akechi washes Ren’s back with vanilla body wash, lifting his arms one by one to lather.

Ren wishes his hands would linger just a little longer.

“Turn around.”

Shifting on the stool, Ren does so.

What already felt intimate intensifies, and Ren squirms a little in pleasure as Akechi’s fingers tremble a little as they graze over Ren’s nipples.

Ren looks up at him and sucks in a breath. Akechi’s pupils are blown wide, and his blush has spread over his shoulders once more. He chances a glance down and sees he’s hard again. Ren’s not far from being the same.

“Akechi,” Ren says softly, reaching out to touch his face.

His fingers barely graze skin before Akechi pulls away, pushing the bottle of body wash into Ren’s hand. “I’m sure you can handle the rest,” Akechi says, turning away and spraying himself down.

The rejection sits heavily in Ren’s gut.

They wash in silence, passing the products the showerhead between them as needed.

When they’re finished, Akechi gestures at the tub. “Guests first. I’ll wait.”

Ren peers at the tub. “I think there’s room for two,” he says with a wink. He takes a step into the bath, humming with pleasure from the heat, and sinks down. “C’mon in.”

“Fine.”

Ren opens his arms and legs, hoping that Akechi would set himself down between them.

Instead, Akechi sits at the opposite end of the bath, curling his long limbs in towards himself.

Ren bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from sighing. “Akechi.”

“Ren.”

“Do you want me to call a cab and go home?”

Akechi looks up at this, blinking in surprise. “Whatever makes you say that?”

“Oh, I don’t know, the fact that you’re acting like you’re allergic to me all of a sudden?” Ren says lightly, gently poking Akechi’s calf with his big toe. Akechi flinches. “See? Like that.”

“Not all of us are familiar with physical touch, you know,” Akechi says, wrapping his arms around his knees.

“I’m not either.”  
  
“You have Sakamoto and Takamaki hanging off you all the time,” Akechi grumbles into his elbow.

“That’s completely different.”

“I don’t know what the parameters are, Ren!” Akechi snaps.

“’Parameters’?”

“We were rivals. I knew those parameters. But this,” Akechi gestures with his hand, flicking drops of water everywhere. “This is… we helped each other scratch an unfortunate hormonal itch. So now we’re what, one-time fuck buddies? My apologies if I’m not processing it quickly enough for you. It seems I can’t keep up with the beloved leader of the Phantom Thieves who killed a _god_.” He runs a hand through his hair irritably. “Shit. I never wanted you to see this side of me.”

“Which side is that?” Ren asks softly.

“I’m not usually so weak as to indulge in the baser desires. I only did because I was curious and have less than twenty-four hours left.”

Ren swallows and it feels like jagged glass. “Do you regret it? How things turned out?”

“…I suppose not.”

“Then-“

“I hate that I can’t keep up! I’ve spent the past month avoiding you to ensure our success with Maruki-”  
  
Ren bites his tongue.

_Why didn’t you trust me? We could have had more time together._

“-then you just climb in through my window and, and-“ Akechi rubs at his misting eyes. “I _hate_ how you keep throwing my plans to the wind. Being around you is like trying to keep my footing in an earthquake! I hate that you’ve seen me at my weakest. In the engine room, and tonight. Just when I feel like I’ve regained some control over myself…” Akechi chokes back a sob. “After _everything_ , how can you even stand to be near me? Do you just like seeing me squirm, proving that you’re better than me? Is that what gets you off? Or am I just like _her_ – it was just my face and my body that you wanted?!”

The pressure in Ren’s chest is like a piece of paper folded over and over until it reaches its final fold.

_It’s now or never._

Ren leans forward to a kneeling position in the tub. He lifts his hands from the water, dripping, to cradle Akechi’s face. He can feel the muscle tension beneath his fingers. Up this close, he can see that some makeup is still clinging his skin.

“I’ve been thinking about fate and free will,” Ren begins, rubbing his thumbs over Akechi’s damp skin, washing away some of the foundation with the tears. “Everything that’s happened between us could be interpreted as fated.” He inhales the steamy air in a deep breath. “Maybe I had no choice but to love you.”

Akechi hiccups. “Ren, you… After everything-“

“Or,” Ren interrupts, “- it _is_ my choice to love you. Every time I met you at the Jazz Jin, every fight in the Metaverse, even every cup of coffee I made you. All of it. And yes, despite everything.”

Akechi’s breath hitches a little. “Your mental faculties are clearly in dire straits if that’s how you truly feel,” he whispers.

Ren shrugs. “Tonight, I wanted to numb the pain. I chose to go out to Shinjuku. I went to a bar and unsuccessfully tried to score some alcohol. When I saw another couple make the most of their time together before… tomorrow, I thought of you. And even if I didn’t mean to,” Ren feels the tips of his ears go red, “-uh, follow you home tonight, it was still the result of a series of choices.”

Akechi’s mouth slips into a smile like a crooked picture frame. “Really now, _stalking_ me, Amamiya-kun?”

“Not on purpose,” Ren mutters, pushing Akechi’s wet bangs away from his forehead. “I _did_ call out to you, but you didn’t hear me. I’m surprised you didn’t notice.”

Akechi clears his throat. “I may have been a touch… preoccupied.”

Ren smiles fondly. He dips his hands back into the water before returning them to Akechi’s face, continuing to wipe away the beaded makeup. “I like to think that we can reconcile a balance between what we can and can’t control.” Akechi slowly leans into his touch. “Especially after seeing Maruki’s mindset, we have to make the most of our freewill. Like you said, carve our own paths, despite the limitations of our fate.”

Ren leans further forward, so close that he can feel Akechi’s breath against his own damp skin. “I suppose this is what your beloved Hegel would call ‘synthesis’?”

His heart stutters a little when Akechi looks far less pleased than he had hoped.

“Where do I even _begin_ with this reductive mess of a dialectic?” Akechi says with an exasperated sigh. “Firstly, the ‘synthesis’ part of the triad is falsely attributed to Hegel, when it was actually Johann Gottlieb Fichte. Secondly, you completely bypass the biological-“

Ren stoppers Akechi’s words with his lips. It’s warm-wet-soft yet clumsier and more painful than he expected. He tastes just a little salty and he thinks that’s just perfect.

Something like a whine escapes from him when Akechi pushes his palms against Ren’s chest to break the kiss.

“Now really,” Akechi gasps, “y-you can’t offer me such a poorly formed argument and expect me to remain silent!”

Ren closes his eyes and takes a careful breath through his nose.

_Arsene, give me strength._

“Perhaps it needs to be said,” Ren mimics Akechi’s line from earlier. “This isn’t an argument. It’s a love confession.”

“B-be that as it may-“

“Do you really want to debate this, or do you want to make out?”  
  
When Akechi is silent, Ren laughs, deep from his belly. “I love that I can see actual _conflict_ on your face!”

“…Shut up. At any rate, we should probably get out of the bath, the water is going cold.”

* * *

After they are dried, dressed in warm pajamas and lying under clean sheets, Ren nudges Akechi’s arm so he can lift it. “What are you- oh.”

“Is this okay?” Ren nestles in the space he’s made on Akechi’s chest.

“…It’s fine.”

Ren can hear Akechi’s heartbeat thud quickly underneath him as he gingerly wraps his arm around him. He strokes over the center of Akechi’s chest.

“I can’t wait to see what Hereward is capable of tomorrow,” Ren says.

“What? How do you know about that?”

“I got like… a contact high, I guess? When you fused him back at Leblanc,” Ren says.

“I’ve never felt anything like it before. It was exhilarating,” Akechi says.

Ren’s phone pings with a message and he groans. “I’d better check it,” he grumbles and extricates himself reluctantly, turning on the nearby lamp. He gets up and grabs his jacket, hung hastily over a chair.  
  
“Futaba wishing me happy birthday. And threatening me with pain because I didn’t mention it earlier,” he says with a chuckle as he crawls back under the covers.

“Oh, so it really is your birthday,” Akechi mutters as Ren nestles back in his arms. “I thought you were kidding.”

“You’re not the only one,” Ren says with a chuckle. He moves to turn the lamp off-

“I’d prefer it left on actually, if you’re okay with it,” Akechi says so softly Ren almost couldn’t hear him.

“Sure.” After a heartbeat, he shyly shows Akechi what he’s holding.

“My glove,” Akechi smirks and takes it from him, looking it over. “Typical. You haven’t really looked after it. It’s worn in the middle. What have you done to it?”

“I uh, squeeze it. A lot. I carry in my pocket every day. I have since you gave it to me.”

Akechi is silent for a while. “You sentimental fool,” he whispers. “You’re just making life harder for yourself.”

Ren taps Akechi’s chin with a finger to get him to look at him. “No, I’m glad that we had tonight.” He presses a kiss to Akechi’s neck. “Can I call you Goro?”  
  
He feels a shaky breath and a nod. Ren nuzzles into his neck. “Goro,” he whispers against his skin.

Goro reaches out and tentatively rubs Ren’s arm. “A-are you warm enough? I can turn up the heating.”

Ren smiles. “I’m getting warm, but I could stand to be warmer…”

“Ah, I’ll go and-“

“I’m saying we should get closer.”

“Oh, well just say so, then.”

Ren lies on his back and crooks a finger to beckon. “Come closer, Goro.”

He rolls his eyes but leans over Ren’s body. He trails his hand down Ren’s chest over his sleepshirt, skimming fingers over his ribs, down to his waist.

Ren tries not to shiver and instead tucks a strand of Goro’s hair behind his ear.

He wants more, but he doesn’t want to be selfish. How should he-

Ren’s thoughts scatter like a kaleidoscope of butterflies because those velvet-soft lips are back on his and-

His mind is finally blank. Ren closes his eyes and leans into the touch. There is only Goro’s warmth and how he can get more of it. He revels in the contrast of callouses on Goro’s left hand, now smoothing over his cheek.

After a while, Ren reluctantly pulls back to catch his breath. He opens his eyes to see that Goro’s are shadowy and glazed.

“It’s not enough,” Goro says, his voice rough. “I-if what you said is true, I can go all out, yes?”

Ren’s eyes widen and his heart tap dances against his ribs. “God - _yes_.”

There’s a growl _his own-his-_ theirs as Goro drops his weight fully against him and they press against each other. They’re so close he can feel Goro twitch in the rhythm of his heartbeat with how hard he is, even through their clothes.

_If he’s not holding back, then neither am I._

Ren grinds his hips up against Goro’s and they share a moan. “I haven’t, I’ve never, so... this is…please, take care of me,” he manages.

“Same,” Goro mutters gruffly into Ren’s neck before he nips it with his teeth.

Ren cradles the back of Goro’s head and gives him an encouraging push. “So good, more.”

Goro’s hips stutter against his as he drags his teeth against Ren’s skin.

Warm palms slip under Ren’s shirt and find a nipple, stroking over it. Ren moans his approval. He jerks in surprise when Goro pulls his shirt so he’s sitting upright. He gets the message and tugs his shirt off, followed by Goro’s.

Seeing him shirtless, Ren wishes he had more _hands-lips-_ time.

They shuck their pants and boxers off in a frenzy before Goro stills. “I don’t have any… protection. Do you?”

“Oh. No, I don’t,” Ren says. “We both haven’t had any other partners, so I think we’re in the clear, right?”

“It won’t matter for me anyway.”

Ren can’t suppress his flinch in time. “Goro…”

“You really trust me this much?” Goro asks softly.

“I do.”

“That’s…” Goro shakes his head. “I can’t believe you.”

“Tell me what you want to do,” Ren whispers. Goro caresses his thighs.

He’s grateful for the lamplight, he can see Goro’s blush deepen down to his shoulders.

“I’d love to fuck you,” Goro says. The words alone Ren can feel himself grow wet at the tip.

“Then let’s do it,” Ren leans over and grabs the lube from the end table. “Just give me a minute.” He kneels on the bed and uncaps the lube, coating his fingers. He reaches around to prepare himself and blushes under Goro’s gaze.

“I thought you didn’t have any experience,” Goro says, his voice tight.

“Not with anyone, just -ah- experimenting on my own. You know, not much to do in the country and all. I haven’t had the chance for a while though.”

He shuts his eyes as he presses a single finger in and shivers. He makes slow circles and goes a little deeper.

The tell-tale noise has him opening his eyes to see Goro stroking himself as he watches. Ren whimpers at the sight.

Just after Ren’s added a second finger, Goro takes his hand off himself. “I want to do it. Tell me how,” he says.

“I mean, yeah, if you’re sure,” Ren pulls his fingers out. “Let me get a towel,” he says. Goro wordlessly hands him one. He must have grabbed it while Ren had his eyes closed. He wipes his fingers. “Give me your hand,” he murmurs.

Goro does so and Ren takes it, caressing his palm. He grabs the lube and coats Goro’s fingers himself. Goro rubs his fingers together to warm it. Ren’s reminded of the train trip earlier this evening – watching his habit of rubbing his gloved fingertips against each other.

Nerves fluttering in his belly, Ren lies down, shyly spreading his legs. “Could I have a pillow?” He lifts his hips and gestures. Goro nudges a pillow underneath.

“One finger?”

“Yeah, to begin with. Just go slowly with the tip.”

Akechi clears his throat as Ren spreads himself wider. “It… I don’t think it will fit, Ren.”

“That’s why I gotta prep first.”

“If you say so.” Goro presses a finger to the rim before pressing inside to the first knuckle.

Ren’s hums in approval. “Yeah, that’s it, you’re a natural.”

Goro smirks and makes wider circles. As he moves deeper, his finger brushes Ren’s prostate and he moans.

“Is that good or bad?”

“It’s good, add another finger, please. You’re opening me up so well.”

Goro gives a small moan of his own and adds a second finger.

“Mmf,” Ren’s fingers twist in the sheets. “God, that’s so good, keep going. Try making a motion like this,” he scissors his fingers.

“Like this?”

“ _Yes -_ aah, another finger, more.”

Goro slips in the third finger and works Ren open wider. He then curls his fingers over the bump he finds and Ren howls.

“A-are you alright?”

“Better than, but you’d better stop or I’ll come,” Ren says, feeling his excitement dripping against his stomach.

Goro frowns. “The vibrator didn’t feel that good for me. Maybe I didn’t get the right spot.”

“A vibrator could never outdo you, sweetheart,” Ren says gently.

Goro’s fingers tremble as he pulls them out. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, please. Lube yourself up first, though. The more lube the better.”

Goro does so and then situates himself between Ren’s open legs. “Are you sure about this? You could have anyone-“

Ren tucks a lock of hair behind Goro’s ear. “I’ve never wanted anything as badly as I want you.”

Goro inhales shakily. “You…” he lines himself up. “I’m going to put it in.”

“Just go slow.”

“I’ll try, but you’re not making it easy.”

Ren grins. “You always love a challenge.”

Goro actually _chuckles_ and it makes something clench painfully in Ren’s chest.

_I love you._

He presses forward. “Ah, it’s nothing like the toy, it’s so hot. T-tight,” Goro pants.

Ren breathes through the stretch. “Mm, stay there for a minute, let me adjust.”

“O-okay.”

Ren smirks. “Maybe you could kiss me?”

“Greedy.” But he does so, as tenderly as he can while he trembles.

Ren slips his tongue in.

“Mmf,” Akechi reacts by thrusting a little more.

“Woah,” Ren winces.

“Sorry! It just, god, just this much feels amazing.”

Ren breathes out and makes himself relax his muscles. “We’ll get there, just a little longer.”

Goro leans on one arm to prop himself up so he can stroke Ren’s cheek. “Does it hurt?”

“More like a bit of a sting?”

Goro starts to pull out.

“No, it’s okay, really, just one more minute.”

They proceed like this for a while until their hips meet.

Ren wraps his arms around Goro’s neck to draw him into another kiss. He licks at his lower lip, tasting sweat, before pulling away. “I’m ready, you can move. You were so patient, so good-”

Goro pulls his hips back slowly and thrusts in with a low moan.

“You feel amazing,” Ren says, stroking up and down his back, encouraging every shaky thrust.

Goro makes an undecipherable sound and lifts himself up enough to take Ren in hand and stroke.

“That – yes, more, please, it feels so good,” Ren says.

With a slight adjustment of his hips, Goro grinds up as he thrusts, hitting that spot that has Ren’s vision blurring at the edges.

“There, yes that’s perfect. God!” Ren cries.

“R-ren, I’m not going to last much longer. Do you want me to pull out, or-“

Ren wraps his legs around Goro’s waist. “No don’t pull out, I want to feel it.”

Goro buries his face in Ren’s neck. “Ren,” he gasps with each thrust. “Ren, I-“

“I’ve got you, Goro,” Ren says, wrapping his arms around him tightly. “I’ve got you.

Goro shudders and Ren feels the heat inside him turn white-hot. He keeps stroking Ren’s shaft and soon after he follows over the edge, spilling over Goro’s hand.

“You… can lie down, it’s okay,” Ren pants and Goro’s arms give out and he collapses on him.

Ren rubs gentle circles over Goro’s back and presses a kiss to his damp temple. “I love you,” he whispers.

They stay encircled in each other for long minutes. Eventually, Goro slowly pulls out and Ren gives a ragged sigh at the emptiness.

* * *

After they clean up again and dress - it’s too cold to stay naked - they return under the blankets.

They lie facing each other, nose to nose, fingers-arms-legs entwined. For a while, Goro simply holds Ren in his eyes, occasionally pressing a kiss to Ren’s fingers-nose-lips.

“We should get some sleep,” Goro says eventually.  
  
Ren’s eyelids are already heavy but his heart is heavier.

_If I close my eyes, tomorrow will come sooner._

Some time passes and Ren is barely conscious when he feels fingers carding through his hair.

“Ren, are you awake?” Goro whispers.

He keeps his breathing even. If Goro really wants him awake, he’ll jostle him. Ren has almost dozed back off when Goro speaks again.

“I wish that things were different,” Goro says, his hand stilling in Ren’s hair. “Trust you to show me what I never knew I’d miss,” he says. He presses his lips to Ren’s forehead. “Whether it’s fate or not, I’m glad you were born. Happy birthday, Ren.”

Ren has to concentrate to keep up the pretense of sleep, to resist the temptation to throw his arms around Goro, and kiss him soundly. It’s made even harder when Goro takes his hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. It’s the best birthday gift he could possibly receive, and heat prickles under his eyelids from tears he refuses to shed.

* * *

**3/20**

**MONDAY**

**_Early morning_ **

Ren looks out the train window, smiling softly at Morgana’s soft snores. The train car is almost empty. Not many are wanting to travel this way this morning, he supposes.

His phone vibrates with a new text message.

**???: Look out your window.**

He does so just as he catches a familiar sleeve before it moves past his line of sight.

_No way._

His heart thuds as he scrutinizes the window. He swears he sees his reflection as Joker.

Is he seeing things?

His phone buzzes again, from the same number.

**???: Take off those damn glasses**

**before I break them again.**

Ren’s face breaks into a delighted smile.

He takes off his glasses and puts them into his jacket pocket.

“We’re just going to turn the seat in front of you, sir,” a gruff voice says to him.  
  
“Oh, right,” he murmurs.  
  
A large gentleman in a suit presses a pedal to the row of seats in front and rotates the row to face him, then sits down.

“I hope you don’t mind the company,” a familiar voice says.  
  
He looks tired, but he’s whole and it’s taking all of Ren’s restraint not to leap up and embrace him.

“Goro!” Ren’s bursting smile dims when he notices the handcuffs.

“Don’t look so dismayed, it’s only a two-year sentence. I just so happened to be transferred to serve it at Kofu Juvenile Prison instead.”  
  
Ren glances at the two men in suits as they sit down either side of Goro, but they seem content to ignore them once Goro hands the phone back to them.

“Kofu, huh? That’s not far from my hometown,” Ren says, suppressing a grin.

“My, isn’t that a coincidence!” Goro’s voice has the lilt of the polite detective prince, but his eyes glint with mischief. “Perhaps, if you were inclined to visit me during my incarceration, I could better your rather _lacking_ understanding of determinist philosophers?”

Then Goro smiles - the small, vulnerable, lopsided smile that matches his eyes, the one Ren loves best. “That is,” Goro says, “- if such a thing is still of interest to you?”

Ren feels his own eyes mist with relief. “I’d love to.”

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> UPDATE: Tuggi has done [this ](https://twitter.com/JustTuggi/status/1312122239907635200)wonderful fanart (nsfw) for this fic too, please go and check it out!! I've been very fortunate to have two wonderful artists bring life to my fic and I feel honored. 
> 
> This fic is part of the 21+ akeshuake server minibang, so please check out the other fantastic works!
> 
> I was paired with Jazazamine, please go and check out her awesome [art](https://twitter.com/Jazazamine/status/1303707196883116033) for this chapter!
> 
> Many thanks to idemandacat, Jazazamine, Rabbit, dragoneyes, Bear, Yua for your interactive brainstorming and enthusiasm on discord when I was stuck! Also to Greypigeon for the great feedback! Thanks to Cia for the last minute read through, you are the sweetest bean. And last but not least, thank you to my amazing husband for his endless patience, encouragement and for giggling with me. 'Vibing Akechi go brrr.'
> 
> Trivia: The title 'Portmanteau' was inspired by Ms Chouno on a 1/24 in class when she mentioned the word ‘frenemy’.


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